1. Life should be a fucking box of chocolates, complete with gold foil casings, an illustrated guide to the contained confectionaries, a sensible eat-by date, list of ingredients (including possible allergens) and a nice secure box that won't let any sweet goodness escape. Not to mention cherry liquer.
2. I propose the formation of a Cholecalciferol Club, the purpose of which is to protect the ongoing bone density of its members. I earnestly believe that this will be most effectively achieved by partaking in extended daily luncheons in the fickle Melbourne sun.
3. How many literature reviews does it take to fill a recycling bin?
4. When I was in grade 3 or 4, we made placemats. The method goes something like this. Firstly, obtain a sheet of canvas. Secondly, paint it, however you wish. Thirdly, cut out random bits of image from wrapping paper, preferably that nauseatingly populated with teddy bears and pastel-coloured balloons. Fourth, slather the whole lot in a layer of Estapol. Fifth, gasp outside after desperately holding your breath in order not to inhale the undoubtedly toxic fumes. Sixth, repeat steps four and five as respiratory and neurological function allows. Seventh, enjoy your placemat (or, as it were, take it home and let it languish in a cupboard until your mother relegates it to that most holy resting place of all school art projects - the bin).
5. My laptop is a machine abused.
6. "Could everybody please check their pockets for the blue keys?"
7. A horrible fatigue has set in - not that I shouldn't be used to this by now.
8. "Ignacio Provencio is the discoverer of melanopsin, a photopigment found in specialized photosensitive ganglion cells of the retina. He is currently an Associate Professor of Biology at the University of Virginia."
9. I don't believe that we have a purpose but I do believe my brain can perceive fun, regardless.
10. I hope you aren't wasting my time like I am. Bloody AMS.
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